How Your Habits Shape Your Idenity
Changing our habits is challenging for two reasons:
- We try to change the wrong thing.
- We try and change our habits in the wrong way.
There are three layers of behaviour change:
Outcome (changing results) Eg. losing weight.
Process (changing your habits and systems) Eg. Implementing a new routine at the gym.
Identity (changing your beliefs) Eg. self image, your belief’s, your worldviews, your judgement about yourself and others.
It’s important to build identity based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become. An example would be when offered a cigarette the first response is” No thanks, I’m trying to quit.” This sort of thinking is that you still believe you are a smoker and are trying to be something else.
Now if you said it like this: “No thanks, I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but this kind statement signals a shift in identity.
Smoking was part of your former life, not your current one. They no longer identify themselves as a smoker.
You have to think about identity change when you set out to improve on building better habits or changing bad habits.
The more pride you have building your identity based habits the more motivated and driven you will be to maintain those habits. If you’re proud you lost 4 pounds from working out and feel mentally and physically better for healthier eating habits, you will want to continue at the gym and keep eating healthier foods.
It’s hard to change your habits if you never change your underlying beliefs that led you to your past behavior. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.
It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.
The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.
The goal is not to get that workout in, the goal is to become an athlete.
The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.
Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity. The more deeply a thought or action is tied to your identity, the more difficult it is to change it.
The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will believe it.
The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will maintain those habits associated to it.
Decide the type of person you want to be. Prove it to yourself with small wins.
“What would a healthy person do?” Would they walk or take a cab. Would they order the combo with fries, or just order the hamburger. If you act like a healthy person, you become that healthy person.
Coach Steph.
References: “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results – Atomic Habits”, Author James Clear, Pg. 28-35, 38-41, Penguin Random House New York, 2018